Living With Cancer

I am not dying of cancer.

When people find out that I have had cancer, the death watch begins. Most people expect that I will die of cancer.They do not assume that I will live. They ask me how I am doing. Or they ask my wife how I am doing. If there is any change, they assume the worst. They are kind hearted, sweet, compassionate people. And I love them for their concern. But they don't understand that I am not dying of cancer.

I understand this reaction. We just can't get our heads around cancer and death. It wasn't part of the contract. We were saving for retirement, dreaming about the golden years instead of enjoying the silver. But it was there in the contract. We just didn't read the fine print. We just didn't want to see it.

There are two ways you can meet this reality, two way you can walk into the ring for the fight of your life. You can be a victim or a victor. A cowerer or a conqueror. You can crouch down, covering your face, or stand up and throw the first punch. You can pull back or lean forward. You can choose to live or wait to die.

When people think I am dying of cancer, they think I am a victim. What's worse, I thought I was a victim. I have to take care not to play into that role, as comforting as it may be at times. I thought I was dying of cancer. I was on this same death watch. I had my bet in the pool of "how long will he be able to survive this."

Well, not any more. I am not dying of cancer. I am living with cancer. And I expect to live a long, long time. In fact, every day for the rest of my life.

And if I happen to be wrong about this, you can take that up with me after I am dead! Until then, I choose to live.